i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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