i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
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You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.