If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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