i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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