I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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