I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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