i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
