God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
