whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
