2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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