Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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