OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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