Moan for me like Helen Keller
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
