Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
