That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
