Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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