if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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