If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
