I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
where am i from again
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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