using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
