Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
