there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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