this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize