Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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