I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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