i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize