I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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