wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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