do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
