Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
