You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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