I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
