I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize