HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
