marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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