Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
