he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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