I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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