I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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