Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The adults are the big ones right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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