I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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