susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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