He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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