I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
