He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
