you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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