she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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