Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
