Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
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IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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