I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
