think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
