uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The air was thick with penises
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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