In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
