i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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