Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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