oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize