I'm gonna have a badass scar
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
