Nicole vs. Life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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