I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
