if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
