I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Fuck appropriateness.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
