Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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