This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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