Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
