i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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