One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
