atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
