I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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