My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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